Heidi Montag’s Album Sales Soar To Almost 700

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Remember last week when Heidi Montag was claiming that she spent millions of dollars on her new album, Superficial, and said it would be as big as a Britney Spears or Michael Jackson album? Now that the album has been released, the numbers are in, and, um, they are hilariously bad. A mere 658 copies were sold (as downloads) to date, Us Magazine is reporting. We’re pretty sure our local subway station busker does better business. (And forget the X-Factor, we have an idea for a show where Simon Cowell judges celebrities who want to be musicians but suck, we’d love to hear what he has to say about Heidi.)

That’s not the only bad news Heidi has to deal with either. Monday on Access Hollywood, Heidi told Billy Bush she had some pretty major health complications as a result of her ten plastic surgery procedures, and told him “I almost died after my procedure. I had too much Demerol like Michael Jackson did and my breathing was five breaths per minute which is like almost dead. [I was] in an aftercare center, there were nurses that were supposed to be tending to me at all times.” When asked by the program whether this was true, the attending plastic surgeon Dr. Frank Ryan replied “That didn’t happen as far as I know.” Good try, Heid.

Maybe poor album sales are just karma for lying about being on your deathbed. Hopefully Heidi’s next big procedure will be to have her jaw wired shut. [Photo: Getty Images]

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