Ring the alarms, people! John Mayer – that self-absorbed masturbation machine we all love to hate – escorted Taylor Swift out to dinner in Nashville this week. Now, sure, the pair was “with a big group,” said a source, and “just seemed to be friends.” But we all know John is a horny sex machine ready to f*ck whatever walks in front of him (er, at least, this is how we like to imagine him in the hopes that we run into him on the street someday), and we suspect that he might be interested in wrapping those tattooed arms around Taylor and sucking the purity out of her like Edward Cullen going after a mountain lion.
Think we’re freaking out over nothing? Think again, friends. The pair has gushed about each other on Twitter, performed together in concert, and collaborated on a John’s song “Half Of My Heart.” And the Internet agrees with us – google “Taylor Swift John Mayer” and pages of results pop up claiming a Mayer-Swift affair. Sure, this relationship may only exist in our dreams right now, but trust us – we know our Mayer. He can’t resist a hot young thing with talent, and frankly, we hope she goes for it. She’s gotta spice up that good girl image somehow! [Photo: GettyImages]