Another day, another Michael Lohan arrest, and yet another John Mayer interview where he tries to be funny but comes off as a jackass. It’s like these celebrities can’t think of any new and creative ways to entertain us. This time, however, Mayer isn’t skeeving us out by talking about former conquests or macking on girls a decade younger than him , he’s just being blissfully ignorant of how lame he sounds.
Allow us to break down this most recent talking point about how he’s totally not gonna sell out by creating a line of perfume. It sounds halfway between a failed stand-up routine and that annoying friend you have that ends every bad joke with “Am I right??”
I’m not selling ‘John Mayer: the cologne’. If I did it would just smell like sausage and sleep.
Wokka wokka! Sausage! And SLEEP! Sleep doesn’t even smell, you guys!
I don’t look at my fans and think, ‘Wow, they really like what I do musically. Imagine if I could get 60 more dollars out of them!’
So noble! Wait, he could totally do a Designer Imposters version of his own cologne and sell it on the cheap. If you love “John Mayer Smells Like Ass”, you’ll love “Running For Mayer”.
Who out there really goes, ‘You know what, I just f**king love perfumes. I always have since I was a kid. If I weren’t a pop singer, I’d be a perfumier…’ (sic)? At some point I may turn into an a**hole, but right now I just peddle a CD for 15 dollars every two years.
Er, at some point?
Oh John, you’re even more clueless than we thought. And you’re missing a great opportunity, there’s a tag line somewhere in making your body smell like a wonderland. [Photo: Getty Images]
