South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is looking to be the front-runner for 2010’s “Most Hilarious Worst Person” — way ahead of his 2009 ranking, thanks in large part to this nugget of journalistic wisdom from our daily scandal enema known as the NY Post.
Now we knew Mark Sanford was a cheating son of a bitch — so the news that he had his vows edited to line item veto that whole “fidelity” thing doesn’t really shock us. And one that digs holes in his backyard, no less.
But what did renew our faith that Sanford might be 2010’s Most Hilarious Worst Person is the following passage describing what he bought his scorned wife Jenny for her birthday. Did we say bought? We meant drew. He drew something for her. Please:
When Jenny Sanford, a former investment banker and Georgetown graduate, married the governor-to-be in 1989 at age 27, she was stunned by how cheap and unromantic he could be.
For one birthday “he drew me a picture of half a bike, and then for the next birthday or Christmas I got the picture of the other half a bike, and then he delivered a $25 used bike.”
For those of you who have trouble reading, here is a generous Dramatization that actually took the time to draw the ENTIRE BIKE:
My reaction would have been somewhere along the lines of “Aw, babe, you shouldn’t have,” and then promptly lighting myself and him on fire. It’s because I’m pyyyyassionate. Unless this was the bike I was given, in which case I’d twirl my mustache, slap him in the face, text Daniel Day-Lewis and ride my ass the eff out of there.
Feel free to leave your own nominations for 2010’s Most Hilarious Worst Person WITH examples, because this is going to be geniously hard to beat. (article via comedian Gabe Liedman)