Does Katie Holmes Have Any Friends Her Age?

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katie-holmes-suri-bffs

Hey Katie Holmes!

How’s it going? Kate Spencer here, of TheFABlife. I don’t mean to pry, but it’s kinda what I do for a living so I’m just going to ask: Do you have any friends your age, and if not, do you need one?

See, I’ve noticed that for the past three days you’ve gone out to lunch every day with your 3-year-old daughter Suri. Not that there’s anything wrong with hands-on parenting, but I thought maybe you might want to dine with someone who you could share a cocktail with while discussing what it’s like to go to sexytown with the world’s craziest short man. Someone who has the ability to form complete sentences and doesn’t need you to carry them around all the time (though I am not opposed to the idea of riding around in your arms!). I’m sure-i Suri (Ha ha!) is well-versed in numerous intellectual areas (I’ve seen her blog), but can you really shoe shop with someone who wears sparkly ballet flats? I think not.

I would be happy to offer you my friendship services for absolutely free. Yes, that’s right – for no money at all you can get a pal of the same height and hair color who will stand by with envy as you buy $1000 shoes and will take your 3AM drunken calls lamenting leaving Chris Klein for Crazy Cruise. I am here for you – all I ask is that you buy me lunch.

Fondly,

An Adult

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