Happy Birthday To A Famous Nobody Who Once Had It All!


Paris Hilton Bikini Brazil

Today is Paris Hilton‘s 29th birthday. We know, we were kinda surprised too. It seems like just yesterday we were wondering “WTF” at pictures of Paris celebrating her 21st birthday at Studio 54, in a backless dress (that started at her butt crack) with her then-fiance Jason Shaw on her arm. What followed was a Legion-like onslaught on the media by one stupid-yet-savvy heir-head. For years we drowned in a Paris-saturated world; her baby voice, wonk eye, and dog army were inescapable. But America has moved on. We lived through it. We may still be in debt, fighting two wars, and not have national health care, but – god damn it! –  we survived Paris Hilton.

So happy birthday Paris. Hope you take a minute to toast your descent into obscurity today. Don’t forget to say hi to Lindsay and Mischa for us when you get there.

Here are pictures of Paris on a yacht in Brazil last week, desperately seeking attention. So throw her a bone and give her some. It is her birthday, after all.

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[Photos: SplashNewsOnline]

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