What. The. F-Word. USA (yes, the TV network) hosted something called the Character Approved Awards last night in NYC, which honors innovative players who are “shaping our culture.” Oddly enough, a strange mix of A Listers (Maggie Gyllenhaal, Gabby Sidibe) and F-Listers (Tiffani Thiessen, Piper Perabo, Tinsley Mortimer, Constantine Maroulis and his butt-shaped chin) showed up to toast them, and everyone – regardless of their star power – looked like sh*t.
Let’s start with Piper Perabo’s bizarre, neck-contorting pose and swollen lips, which resulted in a horrific, unintentional Brittany Murphy impression (RIP). Then there’s Gabby Sidibe’s outfit, which would be appropriate for a gal shopping with her friends at the mall, but for an Oscar nominee?! She should be milking her buzz for what it’s worth, and what it’s worth is thousands of dollars of free designer clothes. And then there’s Maggie. Poor, frizzy-haired, ugly hipster dress-wearin’ Maggie. We’re taking back her Queen of Alt Fashion crown and selling it to our favorite vintage store here in Brooklyn. She does not deserve the honor anymore, what with this disastrous look.
Some of the other D-Listers lurking around looked fine, but what right do they have to even walk the red carpet anymore? No offense, Tiffani (AMBER) Thiessen, but you went out of style the second you ditched Zack Morris for your boss at The Max. Time to head back into obscurity where you belong. [Photo: GettyImages]