Lady Gaga Says She’s Celibate, So Who Should She Bed?

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Lady Gaga isn’t getting laid, and is it any wonder, what with the outfits she wears? Honestly, how is anyone able to get close to her vagina when she locks herself up in lace bodysuits and Halloween headdresses? Anyhoots, we thought the Lady was currently bedding her pal Matthew Williams, but apparently she’s claiming to be celibate. “I am alone and miserable … but I like to be alone,” says our heroine, adding, “I, for myself, make the choice to be single at this point in my life because I don’t have the time to get to know anybody. And you know what? It’s OK. Even Lady Gaga can be celibate.”

Er, okay, except that we want Lady Gaga to make a little monster out of somebody. So here are our picks for possible suitors; vote above for who you think should next hop in the sack with the queen of…whatever she’s the queen of.

  • John Mayer: Lady Gaga is probably the only person who can teach America’s favorite douchebag a thing or two about a thing or two. One night with her would surely shut him up for good, and remind him that some girls become lovers that turn into superstars.
  • Nicki Minaj: She’s hot. She’s bi. So is, apparently, Lady Gaga. They would have LiLo and SamRon beat in the super sexy girl couple category. Please, someone make this happen?
  • Taylor Lautner: The actor needs someone to come in and turn his G-Rated world upside down. Plus it would make up for that awful stunt he pulled fake-dating Taylor Swift.
  • Kermit the Frog: Miss Piggy may have threatened to take Kermie’s head off, but Lady Gaga actually did it – and then used him as a hat and coat. So why not just up the crazy and take a puppet as a lover?
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