Big Mike Wins American Idol. Show’s Over Folks. You Don’t Have To Go Home, But You Can’t Stay Here.


“We know the show was supposed to run through the end of May, but it is pretty obvious to everyone here at American Idol that Mike Lynche just won Season 9. We’d like to thank the other contestants for coming out this year. You were all very good, but it is just clear now that we already have a winner and there’s really no point in dragging this out.

For the rest of the spring, the time slot usually held by American Idol will be used to air Bones repeats. It’s just in the best interest for America.

Congratulations to our winner Big Mike, and hopefully the rest of you can score tickets for Conan O’Brien‘s live tour or something. Good night and drive safe.”

That’s probably what Simon Cowell should have said last night.

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