While You Were Watching Your VHS Copy Of The Lost Boys You Taped Off Cable

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  • Fox has pushed back the release of the Oliver Stone and Shia LeBeouf joint Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps from April to September. They are also changing the name to Wall Street: Money Sits On Its Lazy Ass All Summer Playing X-Box.
  • Bravo announced a new series “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” the fifth now in the franchise. At the rate they’re going, Bravo should have a “Real Housewives” series in every town in America by this November.
  • Lindsay Lohan is pushing forward with her lawsuit against E-Trade for their “Lindsay the Milkoholic Baby” ad, insisting it was based on her.  You laugh now, but one day our kids will be all too familiar with the landmark Supreme Court Case of “Lohan v. Logic.”
  • Mario Lopez and his girlfriend are having a baby. If he doesn’t name it Slater (boy or girl) there’s going to be some problems.
  • Bill Gates fell all the way from number 1 to number 2 on the 2010 Forbes Rich List. Someone get on suicide watch ASAP.
  • Jamie Junger won the “Tiger Woods Mistress Pageant” on the Howard Stern show. See kids, dreams really do come true in America.