Jesse James Apologizes For Cheating, Wants Oscar-Winning Wife Back

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Sandra-Bullock-Jesse-James

Jesse James is really sorry for cheating on Sandra Bullock with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, or so he said in a statement released last night to various media outlets. Here’s his “Oops, I f*cked a crazy lady with big boobs and terrible tatts” apology:

“The vast majority of the allegations reported are untrue and unfounded. Beyond that, I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment. There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It’s because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way.  This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me.”

Sounds like someone woke up and realized his meal ticket was gone! Here’s a tip for other dudes who don’t want to bring about “pain and embarrassment” on their wives and families: don’t cheat. What a novel idea, right? Meanwhile, The Huffington Post reports that ol’ Bombshell only got $30,000 for ruining Sandy’s life. Not that we have much knowledge of how much people get paid to talk about these sorts of things, but doesn’t 30k seem a little low, especially after Sandra just won an Oscar? Sadly, poor Michelle might be the biggest loser in this whole situation. At least Sandra can dry her eyes with tissues made of gold and make “f*ck you” money for some shiteous rom-com, while Mich is left tattooing the word “scorned mistress” on her butt.  [Photo: GettyImages]

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