British Celebrity Time: Cheryl Cole


Sarah here again. I’m such a baby that I don’t even have my own little byline. Because babies don’t have bylines. Hopefully I’ll have one soon, but until then just assume that the good posts by the byline “Best Week Ever” are by me and the mediocre to terrible ones are by some hacker. From the 90’s.

So another thing you should know about me is that I love British celebrities. Like, the kinds that we sort of know about over here or not at all-they’re only famous in En-ga-land. You guys have been super nice so far so I hope this doesn’t turn you. But if the majority of you like Clue, then I can only assume you like Tim Curry, ergo, you’ll like what’s about to happen, British celebrity-wise.

Which brings me to Cheryl Cole. She’s a pop star who got her start in the girl band Girls Aloud and recently launched a solo career. She’s also a judge on Britain’s X-Factor, which features Simon Cowell, who is not a British celebrity who I’m interested in because he’s famous over here. See how this weird pretentious thing I’m doing works? Many of you might already know who Cheryl Cole is and be all like, *yawn*. Sorry.

Anyhoops, long post short, her footballer (soccer-er) husband Ashley Cole just cheated on her, Jesse James style, with a ton of lesser ladies, and she’s having a rough time of it. But, Sandra Bullock style, the public is massively behind her. But guys! We’re all really worried about her because she’s lost a ton of weight! Is she OK??? I’ll keep you posted. Or not. Because I can totally see how you’d hate this.

This is actually not the first time Ashley has cheated. Cheryl wrote a song about how they have to fight for their love. It’s called, “Fight For This Love.”

And fair enough, because this is what Ashley looks like.

(He’s the one who’s not Beckham)

Truth be told, I’m not a huge fan of her music. And maybe you aren’t either, but TELL me, do your frozen hearts hate her amazing accent and humble, non-cynical attitude??

I thought not.

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