Pauly D from The Jersey Shore is auctioning off his tanning bed to raise money for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. This is completely admirable, I mean, of course we should all raise money for kids with cancer. It’s just that the irony of donating a machine that actively causes cancer to help fund cancer research is a bit overwhelming. Listen. I realize that if you take the “T” out of the mighty “GTL” triumvirate you lose the essential balance between Work and Leisure. Without Tanning, it’s just Gym and Laundry. And then what are you? Some pale-faced loser with a rocking bod and clean clothes? No thank you. So maybe I should just shut the eff up. For the kids.