With April Fool’s Day behind us, we’re forced to believe that what’s going down on TIME magazine’s website is not a joke. The polls for their annual “100 Most Influential” competition opened yesterday morning, revealing the world’s perceived heavyweights in politics, technology, and entertainment. After 24 hours of voting, we have reasons to fear the final days of humanity are approaching. Here’s why:
Jersey Shore‘s Snooki not only made the list, but is currently ranked at #61, beating out Olympic gold medalist Lindsey Vonn, AIDS philanthropist and musician Elton John, and comedic genius Kristen Wiig. By the way, is “the poof” trending? God, we hope not. Aerosol emissions will kill us all by 2011.
More causes for concern after the jump.
20-year-old sweet-as-pie country superstar Taylor Swift has been deemed more influential than Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, activist and former President Bill Clinton, and Queen Oprah. Where’s Kanye when we need him?
Robert Pattinson, internationally known for his role as a brooding sparkly vampire in The Twilight Saga, is five spots ahead of The President of the United States of America Barack Obama, with over double the amount of votes. We find it hard to believe the majority of TIME.com’s readers are horny teenage girls, making these results infinitely more disturbing. We love RPattz as much as the next drooling lady fan, but we hardly think he’s influenced people to do much more than don his face on their crotch.
Thus far ranking at a decently-high #33, Glenn Beck seems to be effectively influencing his followers. If you need reason to find this terrifying, allow Jon Stewart to explain.
Bristol Palin comes in at #127 as an “Abstinence Spokeswoman.” First the teen mom threatens us with an acting career, now this? We have enough Palins in our life, thank you very much.
And finally, these guys made the list, sprinkled amongst political movers and shakers, technological groundbreakers, and Lady Gaga.
