Conrad Murray’s Latest Defense: Suicide And Coca-Cola



Conrad Murray, where are you looking? Toward heaven, to see if Michael Jackson made it? Or to the invisible man floating in space above your head, feeding you information about how best to look crazy during your defense trial? Both are acceptable answers, but for real dude, you’re looking crazier by the minute from the reports we’ve read.

TMZ reported today that the doctor would be arguing that it wasn’t his fault that Jackson OD’d on Propofol, but rather the musician’s doing. In a boldly speculative timeline, Murray’s defense will argue that during the two minutes that Murray left Jackson’s bedside to use the bathroom, they believe Jackson awoke and took it upon himself to inject the fatal dose of the sleep drug, and once Murray returned he attempted to revive the pop star. They will try to convince a jury that ultimately Jackson died by his own hand. That’s fishy defense number one.

The second defense we’re having some trouble with is their claim that Jackson was addicted to Coca-Cola and that the caffeine from the soft drink would cause his sleeplessness, which then cause him to require drugs to help him sleep. The lawyers will claim that Jackson knew this cycle was causing himself harm but demanded his Coke anyway.

So help us, if this “Soda Defense” works, we will no longer have faith in the justice system.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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