Sandra Bullock Denies Sex Tape Rumors

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Sandra Bullock fans can relax now – the actress has broken her silence and quashed allegations that a sex tape with Jesse James will be made public because, she explains, no such tape exists. Put simply to People, Bullock said “There is no sex tape. There never has been one and there never will be one.”

We’re taking that in several ways: first, and most obviously, as a denial that she voluntarily participated in the making of a tape (which we’re inclined to believe because, uh, she’s Sandra Bullock), but also as an admission that James is never going to get a piece of that sweet action ever again. Let the divorce proceedings begin! Sandra was probably inclined to finally break her silence on the matter after hearing what the details of said sex tape included. You know, the poop and whatnot. We certainly don’t blame her.

Remember when the most scandalous thing about these two was when James’ dog Cinnabun used to run away all the time? Sigh. Now we fear that “a Cinnabun” is probably a sex act between James and his various mistresses involving Nazi turds smeared on a motorcycle. [Photo: Splash News Online]