Good news! Lady Gaga is still alive:
The singer, who can apparently be in 9 places at the same time, arrived in Japan yesterday donning the very same Z. Cavaricci’s I wore in my 6th grade D.A.R.E. musical.
But perhaps more upsetting is that Gaga has done to her $5,000 Hermes Birkin Bag… on it, she scrawled “I Love Little Monsters” in Japanese. She repeating this mantra on her arm. “Little Monsters” is both her pet name for her fans as well as a severely overlooked comedy from the 1980s starring Howie Mandel and Fred Savage. We will now wait for Gaga’s heartfelt apology to all her WASP fans who have now gouged their eyes out after seeing one of their precious Birkin bags defiled. Someone check on Martha Stewart ASAP.