So The New James Bond Movie…Wait, No, Now We’re Talking About A Broccoli Woman

|

Did you just read the headline for this blog post?  You did, didn’t you?  And probably it made you a little confused.  You might have read it and then by the end of the headline you were disoriented and maybe even a bit angry.  Well, that’s exactly how you would have felt if you read part of this Huffinton Post article (Bold lettering and the word “motherf**king” added for emphasis):

Producers say work on the next James Bond film has been halted indefinitely because of uncertainty about the future of distributor Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc. Producers Michael G. Wilson and [motherf**king] Barbara Broccoli say development of the movie was suspended after MGM failed to find a buyer.

And that’s about as far as it’s possible to get when you read that article because for the rest of all time ever you’re distracted by the idea that there is actually a woman named Barbara Broccoli.  Obviously “Broccoli” is a hilarious last name to have, but the alliteration with “Barbara” is just perfect.  Barbara Broccoli.

But I’d also like to know what’s going on with this James Bond movie.  I never will, though; never ever.  And that’s all because this article didn’t properly prepare me to see such a ridiculous name.  Perhaps with some warning I would have been able to continue reading.  Here are a few possible ways the sentence introducing Barbara Broccoli could have been written so as to not be so jarring:

“Producers Michael G. Wilson and — just so you know the following woman is named a vegetable — Barbara Broccoli say development…”

“Producers Michael G. Wilson and some woman whom will we not name here for reasons of national sanity say development…”

“Some man and a woman were all like…”

See, all of those would have worked, and we would have been able to get through the rest of that article like normal people instead of having to do an hour of research to find out that her father was Albert R. Broccoli who has a slightly less funny name but produced some of the older Bond films.