Bill Condon Set To Direct Twilight In Bid To Make Gayest Movie Ever Made

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GAY BREAKING DAWN

Twitter is a-chirping with the news that director Bill Condon has been plucked from teenage girl obscurity and handed perhaps the most difficult cinematic task ever: Directing the fourth installment of Twilight, Breaking Dawn.

Now, I’ve never read Breaking Dawn (though I am familiar with its ground-breaking incestuous baby spoiler), but I have seen Dreamgirls, Kinsey and Gods & Monsters. And let me assure you…

This movie will be so over the top amazing gay.

I might just have to see it now, if only to see the faces of every pre-pube collapse when Edward’s hand grazes Jacob’s 14th ab a few extra times “on accident.”

And for those of you doubting the veracity of my claim, 1. How dare you? and 2. Look at what happens when Bill Condon gets his hands on a good hair-do and some sparkle…

~*~~~**MAGIC**~~~*~