In today’s celebrated New York Times, we learn that people have their panties in a wad over celebrities who tweet flawed grammar and misspelled words. (John Cusack, btw, is barely literate.) But isn’t this like worrying about a mosquito that’s biting your arm when you’re hanging out in the middle of the street during The Running of the Bulls? These Grammar Cops should take a good hard look at Twitter — especially celeb Twitpics. They’ll see Adrianne Curry with a phallic-shaped Darth Vader stuffed between her breasts. They’ll see Shaq tweeting pictures of a blister on his toe. They’ll see Lindsay Lohan topless, a needle sticking out of Dave Navarro‘s arm, Kim Kardashian in the middle of a dental procedure, a naked Donald Faison taking a dump, and of course a large collection of Coco‘s plump rump in variously staged poses.
The problem with Twitter isn’t about poor grammar, or Twetiquette as it’s referred to in The Times. It’s about TTMI — Twitter Too Much Information. Yeah, sorry for hitting you with yet another Twitter acronym. But it’s worth pointing out that Twitter, combined with the paparazzi, has removed the barrier that used to shield the general public from the insanity of celebrities. Just imagine it’s Feb. 7, 1953, and Humphrey Bogart tweets pics of his bloody mouth missing two teeth after the car accident he had while filming “The Bit of Devil” in Italy. Or imagine him snapping a picture of Lauren Bacall’s ass and sharing it with his legions of followers. Um, never. Celebrities from the Golden Age of Hollywood had God-like personas to uphold — and they had an army of smart professional handlers who knew that actors and actresses should not speak without being scripted (at all other times, muzzled!) and should not have their picture taken without thoughtful staging (otherwise, out of sight!).
It’s only because of these handlers that we had people to idolize and something to strive for in life. Now we only have George Clooney to emulate. All others have ruined themselves with TTMI. For proof, check out the gallery below and these horrifying celebrity tweets compiled by The Huffington Post.