Here are a picture and a headline that appeared on the Huffington Post yesterday evening.
For those of you who don’t know, a Bris is the ceremony during which Jewish baby boys get circumcised. So, there are a whole lot of questions that this picture/headline combination raises. Probably most of you already know that Sandra Bullock adopted a baby from New Orleans. I did not know that when I read this. So I was confused X 80. I was all, “Sandra Bullock has a baby, Sandra Bullock has a Jewish Baby? And the Jewish baby is black? How did…what?”
At this point I was thinking that perhaps Sandra Bullock could have been Jewish all along without me knowing. I doubted it though; I have pretty good Jew-dar. And I was pretty positive I’d already know if she were black, because they only thing more sensitive than my Jew-dar is my black-dar.
Anyway, it turns out, as you know, that the baby is adopted and also Sandra Bullock is not Jewish. The Bris is just a weird thing she did. But, Noah, how do you know for sure she’s not Jewish? Oh, because I found a website: www.jewornotjew.com, which is apparently a thing that exists and is like a terrifying version of the Hot or Not website. And what I learned is that Sandra Bullock for sure is not Jewish, but still got a six on some kind of weird Jew scale.