Hey, Joaquin Phoenix, What If We Don’t Care?


As I’m sure most of you know, in 2009, Joaquin Phoenix decided to stop acting, become a hip hop musician, and have Ben Affleck‘s little brother, Casey Affleck, make a documentary about it.   Well, today, there’s news concerning that whole thing.  It’s finished!  From Contact Music:

“Affleck has now completed his film, titled I’m Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix, and has previewed the footage in a bid to find a distributor. Reports suggest the picture features shocking scenes of the star apparently snorting cocaine, ordering call girls and having oral sex with a publicist – fuelling gossip the film is in fact a ‘mockumentary’.”

Here’s my problem with this whole thing, and I assume some of you might have this same problem with it.  I, like, uh… don’t care.  Here’s my imitation of all of us two years ago when somebody would bring up the name Joaquin Phoenix (which by the way never ever happened):  “Oh, the creepy guy from Gladiator! He was sure in that movie!”  I don’t’ have enough knowledge of or feeling for Joaquin Phoenix to want to see a film documenting his career change.  And I especially don’t care if it’s a hoax.  Is it even a hoax if nobody cares?

For example, if the guy who runs the pizza place around the corner from me suddenly told everyone that he was closing up shop to become a tailor, but then it turned out he wasn’t serious, that’s not a hoax.  That’s just a pizza guy lying.  His pizza simply isn’t good enough to get people invested in him to the point where anything involving his pizza could be considered a hoax.  In the same way, Joaquin Phoenix’s acting pizza isn’t good enough for his becoming a tailor rapper to be a hoax.  I strongly encourage all of you out there to join in me not caring about this.  We can all to to the park together – make a day of it.

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