American Idol: Bye Bye Big Mike

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Swim away, Willy. Swim away. You’re freeeee!

Even though Casey James had the inferior performance on Tuesday night, it was Michael Lynche who was kicked off American Idol last night for his version of “Will You Be There.” It may have inspired whales, but humans, not so much. But he has a baby! Where’s your heart, America?

The episode also featured guest appearances from Fantasia and her amazing baby voice, Chris Daughtry and his amazingly sculpted eyebrows, and Bon Jovi and their amazingly-still-80′s hair. And Jon Bon Jovi was rocking a shirt that was officially unbuttoned to his navel. Just in case it got hot on stage. Mentor Jamie Foxx was nowhere to be found. We assume that’s because he wanted to perform a monologue from The Soloist but that would have proved too powerful for this audience.

So in the end, our final three is the same as it has been for a couple weeks now: Crystal Bowersox, Lee DeWyze and Casey James.  Will our nation’s lust for men with beautiful hair triumph over dreadlocks and paint chips? (Seriously, that’s the only fun fact about Lee we’ve been privy to. We get it! He knows his way around various shades of off-white.) Two more weeks to go!

[Photo: Getty Images]