Rachel Uchitel has denied that Radar‘s sexts between Tiger Woods’ mistress and Bones‘ David Boreanaz are the real deal, but the tab is publishing them anyway. We’re tempted to believe the verity too, if only because the portrait they paint isn’t so much creepy/hot (no “I would love to have the ability to make you sore” talk here) as a reminder of why extramarital affairs with needy nymphos aren’t always the best idea. Here’s what happened when Angel wouldn’t leave his pregnant wife to visit Rachey in NY.
Rachel: I need you here so we can be together.
David: This is not a good time.
Rachel: I canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t do this anymoreÃ¢â‚¬Â¦Just go. Just [redacted] go and be with her.
David: Why do u act like such a [redacted] child!!! She is my wife
Rachel: Oh, please!! YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re such a liar. YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re never leaving. YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve wasted my time and IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m once again alone. I canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t [redacted] be alone anymore. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been alone my entire life.
David: What the HELL are you talking about. We spend more than enough time together.
Wow, hope you were able to keep your hand out of your pants for that one! These things may start with three-day sex bouts (“Rachel said they made love the entire time, she said David is amazing,” says their source) and photos of genitalia, but celebs need to realize that ladies on the side a) are more desperate than the stars and b) have less to lose than the stars. Thankfully for us gossipmongers, these guys never learn.