June is just around the corner, which means hot temps, the occasional sunburn, and a major influx of movie releases. Many of us will beat the heat by noshing on some popcorn in a overly-air conditioned theater, but in the sea of blockbuster hopefuls, what’s worth our $12.50? What packs the heat, without causing pit stains? Considering the sex appeal of the stars, steaminess of the story, and cling of the wardrobe, we’re counting down a dozen flicks that’ll sizzle the summer months, from lukewarm to piping hot.
12. Sex and the City 2, May 27th: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, and Kristin Davis hit the Middle East in 5-inch heels, high-slitted designer dresses, and sparkly turbans. Beefcake and baby-less Aiden returns to tempt Mrs. Big.
11. Letters To Juliet, May 14th: Amanda Seyfried paid this year’s (or our lifetime’s) bills by getting romantical in the Italian countryside. In Juliet, she reunites Vanessa Redgrave with a long-lost love, simultaneously falling for her hunky grandson/driver.
10. Knight and Day, June 25th: A-Rod banger and yoga-attempter Cameron Diaz stars opposite an up-to-her-shoulders Tom Cruise in what’s being billed as an “action-comedy.” If the amount of gun-slinging in the trailer is any indication, we’re certain there’s action…it’s the comedy part we’re skeptical about.
9. Beastly, July 30th: In what may be the most unintentionally hilarious movie of the summer, Mary-Kate Olsen plays a jaded witch who casts a spell on a high school stud, making him “ugly” until he finds true love (in Vanessa Hudgens) and becomes a better person on the inside. Beauty and the Beast meets modern-day Manhattan meets face prosthetics.
8. Prince of Persia, May 28th: Gorgeous Gemma Arterton grips a hugely buff Jake Gyllenhaal as they ride horseback to return some dagger somewhere…whatever, we’re not seeing it for the video game-derived story.
7. Iron Man 2, May 7th: Scarlett Johansson joins the RDJ-Gwyn mix in curve-hugging, skin-tight leather as The Black Widow. Nothing bad can come of that.
6. Eat Pray Love, August 13th: Julia Roberts travels for a year, eats anything, and bones both James Franco and Javier Bardem. Envy.
5. Piranha 3-D, August 27th: Blood-thirsty fanged fish go after swimsuit-laden partiers, including a washed-up Jerry O’Connell and Gossip Girl‘s Jessica Szohr. Bear Jew Eli Roth hosts a wet t-shirt contest. Campy goodness all around.
4. Machete, Sept. 3rd: Robert Rodriguez‘s Cinco de Mayo trailer threw mud at Arizona’s new immigration law. Mud flingers include Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan (hilariously as a nun) and Michelle Rodriguez. [Poster: Fox]
3. Jonah Hex, June 18th: Megan Fox is a corseted prostitute, glimmering with post-coital sweat.
2. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, June 30th: We’re quivering with excitement for the werewolf kisses, dry humping, and chemistry between (most-likely) real-life couple Rob Pattinson (photos) and Kristen Stewart (photos).
1. Salt, July 23rd: Angelina Jolie. Guns. A mega-lipped “O” face around 1:45 in the trailer.