Hey there, Michael Bay! Not sure that we’ve been properly introduced. Here at The FABLife, we’re big fans of the way you are able to subtly wrench powerful emotional performances out of your actors, and we’re surely not the first to tell you that your mise-en-scène would make Truffaut weep with jealousy. Just kidding, we mostly love you because there’s no one better in the business at blowing sh*t up.
And hey, we heard the news that you fired Megan Fox from Transformers 3. We applaud the decision; after all, you can’t let some scrawny, hammer-thumbed bimbette tarnish the directorial legacy that you’ve been building ever since you first stepped behind the lens as the director of Playboy Video Centerfold: Kerri Kendall! Gotta keep your eye on the prize, can’t let one bad apple ruin the bunch, we get it.
But since we’ve heard that you’ve already started filming the third installment of Transformers in Los Angeles, we figured you might need some help finding a new love interest for Shia LaBeouf. To that end, we have gone to the trouble of compiling a list of ten actresses who could replace that ungrateful harlot, Megan Fox, as well as the reasons you’ll want to talk to them. Hopefully this will save you some time and allow you to complete the film in time for its planned release date of July 4, 2012!
[Photos: Getty Images, Splash]