Bachelorette Contestant Learns That Premature Ejaculation Isn’t As Cool As It Used To Be

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Meeting girls is a lot harder than it sounds. As a blogger who spends most of his day tied to a laptop, I know all too well the pitfalls that await me whenever I venture into the “outside world” and try to strike up a conversation with a member of the fairer sex. You know how it is, right guys? Just when you think you’ve landed on the perfect conversation starter, you find yourself getting all distracted by their pretty hair and pretty smiles and pretty smells. We’ve all been there.

That said, I’ve picked up a few tricks of the proverbial trade over the years and now find talking to women slightly less intimidating than I used to. I have been passing on the secrets that I’ve learned through a book that I recently wrote called How To Pick Up Trashy Women. Although my tips have saved countless dozens of individuals from conversational peril, I truly regret that I never had time to meet with 27 year-old construction engineer and Bachelorette contestant Derrick before he got some precious 1:1 time with Ali Fedotowsky, the titular Bachelorette, on the season premiere that aired last night. If I had, I would’ve surely explained to him that it would’ve been in his best interest NOT to share with Miss Fedotowsky the story about how he acquired the nickname “Shooter.”

Watch and learn, gents. Watch. And. Learn.