In the past week, Robert Pattinson has answered interview questions about Eclipse, reading Breaking Dawn, seeing the first Twilight movie, Taylor Lautner’s six-pack, going on dates, settling down, being naked onscreen, hula-hooping, and Twilight glitter lube, to name a few.
With Twilight: Eclipse still two weeks away, and Pattinson certain to face dozens of repetitive press junkets leading up to it, we have to wonder, are there actually any questions left in the English language that he hasn’t been asked?
After much painstaking research contacting tweens on various message boards and home telephones, here’s a list of the Only 7 Remaining Questions That Robert Pattinson Hasn’t Been Asked:
1. Have you ever thought of buying a van and naming it “Vanpire?”
2. If Marmaduke was a vampire, would he still think he’s human or just a vampire? Or neither?
3. Count Duckula: Overrated / Underrated?
4. Has the studio pushed for a Flintstones Meet The Jetsons-type crossover between Twilight and True Blood? And if so, will you have sex with me?
5. Shouldn’t the sequel to “Twilight” just be “Night” I mean come on???
6. If I’m attempting vampiric sex for the first time, would it be super cliché of me to be like “Look aht me! I’m Robaht Pattinson!” in a wacky English voice?
7. You do realize that Question 4 wasn’t a joke, right? Gonna need an answer.
Other questions for Robert Pattinson that haven’t been asked yet? Leave ‘em in the comments.