During my recent whirlwind trip to L.A., I was lucky enough to attend 3 separate awards shows. You’ve already seen my red carpet coverage (i.e. attacking celebs) from the MTV Movie Awards, and last night, hopefully most of you caught my appearance at Logo’s NewNowNext Awards as the winner of the “Brink of Fame” Award (more on that to follow…).
But one awards show we’ve yet to fill you in on are The Spike Guy’s Choice Awards, airing Sunday at 10/9c. I had no idea what I was in for as I excessively groomed in anticipation of the testosterone parade that was sure to greet me at the most masculine awards show on television. And here is what I got:
An A-List Cannonball of “Holy Sh*t” to the face.
First of all, before any of the stars glided out onto the stage, the moment you walked into the giant studio where it was taped, you fainted from excess. The stage backdrop was a giant aquarium full of live SHARKS. And right next to it, a huge diorama with two REAL LIVING TIGERS. THEY HAD LIVE TIGERS THERE. Then, there was an 80’s hard rock cover band performing behind giant flames. And sliders. THEY HAD SLIDERS THERE. Already, without having seen a single famous person, this was the most amazing Hollywood moment of my life.
Then, A-Listers starting pouring out of every available backstage nook and cranny. The shows opens with Schwarzenegger and Stallone. “OK,” I think, as I sit 100 feet from two human cinderblocks with arms alongside the world’s deadliest predators. “Kicking things off A-list style. Surely this will not last.” Then Spike served me a giant slice of humble pie (in the form of another slider). Because things got better and less face-pulled. Allow this gallery to prove me right:
And really, at what other even would George Clooney and Kid Rock be friends? And where else would Kid Rock where a bong shirt? Click ahead for photo proof + bleep-filled video of George accepting his award.
Here is a sampling of some of the celebrities you can expect to see on Sunday night:
Sandra Bullock. Jon Hamm. George Clooney. Robert Downey Jr. Bradley Cooper. Robert DeNiro. Leonardo Di-f**king-caprio. Chris Rock. Ozzy Osbourne. Charlize Theron. Lebron James. Jessica Biel. Ray Liotta. James Gandolfini. Liam Neeson. And Triumph the Insult Comic on the Years Biggest Douchebags.
What does this mean for you? It means that on Sunday at 10 PM ET, you will be treated to a show featuring roughly 47 times as much star power as this year’s Academy Awards. Also tons of tiger reaction shots!
And here is Clooney winning his Guy of the Year Award and cursing his bronzed ass off:
BONUS: I also ran into former BWE.tv writer Bob Castrone, who, along with his writing partners at The Post Show, are shooting a pilot for Spike called “Playing with Guns.” Not sure how much info I can give away here, but we’re sure you’ll be hearing a lot more about it. Congrats to Bob! (Who is also getting married in a matter of weeks!)