Lieutenant Dan Cat

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I’ll break up this paragraph from an Associate Press article into two pieces for effect.   The first piece of the paragraph is awful, and I want you to have to sit with how awful it is for a while in your brain before you experience just how great the second part is.  All you need to know is that the article is about a cat.

After losing his two rear paws in a nasty encounter with a combine harvester last October…

Well, that is the most horrifying thing.  But wait!

…the black cat with green eyes was outfitted with metallic pegs that link the ankle to the foot and mimic the way deer antlers grow through skin. Oscar is now back on his feet and hopping over hurdles like tissue paper rolls.

They gave a cat Lieutenant Dan legs!!!

Lt. Dan Cat!  You got new legs!  I can’t wait for this cat to show up at my wedding with his asian fiancee.