5 Things We Learned From Watching The New Jersey Shore Trailer

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We loved the first season of Jersey Shore, but being the fickle a-holes that we are we assumed the second season was going to be a maj let down, a la every season of the Real World after Heather B., Julie and Norm true storied it up. But we plopped down in front of the new trailer today and were pleasantly surprised in that ‘f*ck yes, this rules our life!’ sort of way. While it doesn’t hurt our vagina (apparently only sex with Vinnie or riding on a dog sculpture could do that) we, like Snooki, “like it.”

And now, 5 things we learned from watching the 2 minutes and 13 seconds of heaven, above.

1. We are going to get sick of that ear poisoning “I’m In Miami Bitch” song all over again: LMFAO is LTFAO at us right now.

2. Vinnie’s dick is this season’s duck phone: Everyone is using it and now one can figure out to turn it on – or off.

3. There is a genius on the Jersey Shore production team: We’re looking at you, person who thought of installing a mirror cam in the bathroom so we can watch the cast get spend 4 hours fondling their boobs and ironing their hair before a big night out.

4. Ronnie’s potato head is still growing: Someone put it in the microwave (or in a vat of roids) and it’s been nuked into a misshapen mess even an Italian mother can’t love.

5. Someone’s gonna loss a hair extension or two: Apparently baking in the sun for 50+ years has finally calmed the dudes down, as it’s the ladies of the house are who are trying to knock each others’ hair extensions out. Bring on the silicone claws.

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