Germany Vs. Spain: Hot Alien Vs. El Rubio


I’m really into the World Cup because, surprise, the boys are cute. Also, I love soccer, but that’s besides the point. Yesterday’s game between the Netherlands and Uruguay was very exciting, especially towards the end, but I take HUGE offense to the fact that the Dutch coach was the hottest person on either team. Not OK, Netherlands/Uruguay. You should really reevaluate your team picking processes. Also, Uruguay, have more u’s in your name, I dare you. Anyway, today’s game is very exciting because Germany and Spain are just awash, awash I say, in cute players. Here are my choices for the two players to watch on both sides. And by watch, I mean literally just watch. Not to evaluate their play, even though they are both two of the best players on their teams, but just, you know, watch their faces. And the way they run. This is quickly turning into a Harloquin Romance blog. Anyway, I know this might not be the most popular choice aesthetically, but for your consideration on the German side I submit, Mesut Özil, AKA, Hot Alien:

I know. I KNOW. But just watch him and all of your concerns will melt away. Midfielder. Knows how to control play. WINK. It’s like how my friend said that the alien in District 9 was strangely sexy to her? I feel like I’m being too harsh, because he is a good looking person. He’s just not this:

This is Manuel Neuer, 1.9 meters, 24 years of age, goalkeeper. A man. But Özil is where it’s at. Trust. OK, on to Spain.

As a qualifier, I’ll say that this guy can to questionable things with his hair. But so can every young European with millions of euros in the bank and soccer, hot women and designer jeans on the mind. So, I submit for your consideration, Fernando Torres:


Blonde, Spanish, a striker. Knows how to put one in the net.

There you go. There’s plenty of other eye candy for you, but these are my two favorites. And, since we’re basically best friends, I thought you’d probably think so too. So come over to my place around 2ish and we’ll play some Ouija Board, braid each other’s hair and watch the game.

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