Someone Feed LeBron James A Slice Of Humble Pie STAT

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As if the saga surrounding which team NBA star LeBron James will join couldn’t get anymore disgustingly reminiscent of Brett Favre’s yearly antics, ESPN revealed LeBron will conduct his own show on their channel in a one hour special airing at 9PM tonight. Oh, sorry did we make a wrong turn down egotistical lane? Who does he think he is? The president?

It was cute when Betty White made a plea for Lebron to stay in Cleveland and it was even worth a chuckle when Rachel Ray begged LeBron to come to New York, but taking it to the extreme and being given his own hour-long segment called “The Decision” (how horribly dramatic and Jersey Shore-esque, no?) is basically like wrapping the entire NBA up and tying it in a big, shiny, golden bow for him.

Let’s break it down together: a one-sentence announcement should only take ten seconds, right? We thought so, but hey, we could be wrong so let’s practice: “After much thought, I have decided to join the [insert team].” Oops! We were wrong, it took less than ten seconds! So what the #$%*&@! does he need his own one hour show for?!

Dearest LeBron (no, we will not call you “King”), we don’t care how great of an athlete you are. After you make “The Decision” just stick to basketball games, press conferences and interviews. Oh, and don’t even think about doing a reality show, leave those to Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens.