That Sarah Palin is a wily one, isn’t she? Today, she released a video to YouTube that all but explicitly states her interest in running for president in 2012. In it, she talks about her distaste for the “fundamental transformation” that she thinks our country is going through, how being a “mom” gives her a deeper window of insight into this country’s problems than any man could possibly have, and how the time is approaching for “common sense conservative women to get things done for our country.” All good rallying points, we suppose, but being that she’s Sarah Palin, she couldn’t resist the opportunity to mix a few animal metaphors into her carefully crafted, one-minute and fifty-second long video. What else did you expect from someone who introduced the concept of lipstick-wearing pitbulls into our lexicon?
As a score that sounds a lot like the intro to Alphaville’s “Forever Young” plays in the background, Palin begins to wax rhapsodically about the “mama grizzly bears [in Alaska] that rise up on their hind legs when somebody’s coming to attack their cubs.” That’s right, folks, she’s no longer a pitbull, now she’s a grizzly bear! And lest you forget, she reminds everyone, liberals and conservatives alike, that “You don’t wanna mess with the mama grizzlies.” But then, seemingly bored with her own Mama Grizzly metaphor, she mixes things up and warns her viewers that “There’s a whole stampede of pink elephants crossing the line and their ETA [...] is November 2, 2010!”
So, we’re confused: Is Sarah Palin a pitbull with lipstick, a mama grizzly bear, or a pink elephant? Or, *gasp*, is she somehow all three, thereby outing herself as a modern day Manimal? We sincerely hope it’s the latter. Keep your fingers crossed that she takes the form of a werewolf with high heels in her next video!
[Hat tip to Brian Montopoli!]