In new celebrity feud news, apparently Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Kathy Griffin got into a knife fight of words! On The View this week, Hasselbeck apparently referred to Griffin as “scum” in response to a joke the red-headed comedian made about Senator Scott Brown’s daughters being prostitutes, a joke based on a statement Brown made about the girls being single.
Now, of course we know that Kathy Griffin is not literally scum, which Merriem-Webster defines as “floatable material in wastewater made up of mainly fats, cooking oil and grease which are skimmed off during the treatment process.” Oh actually, you know what, that sounds pretty spot-on. Really though, the ladies at The View should know by now that Griffin is just trying to get a rise out of them, since it will lead to her getting more publicity for her (amazing) show Life on the D-List. Thats her schick! The way we look at it is, its similar to how you cant get mad when a goose poops all over your lawn. Thats what geese do! So if you get angry over it, you are really just letting yourself worked up for no reason. Kathy Griffin poops all over the lawn because it is in her nature. Does that make sense? We can make more goose metaphors if you need us to. We are here literally all day.
In response to the slam, Griffin explained, “Now I have to send Elisabeth Hasselbeck two muffin baskets.” What greater act of apology can a person make? You know the old folk saying: if one muffin basket doesnt do it, then you had better send another muffin basket. We sure are feeling thoughtful today over at the FabLife! Hopefully, these two will make up over a delicious cranberry orange muffin soon, and before you know it Kathy will once again be flying around The View‘s soundstage, chewing the tassels off the throw pillows and pecking Joy Behar in the face. The way it ought to be.
– Halle Kiefer