In the latest “O girl child, no” news, Julianne Hough recently joked that she had assumed boyfriend Ryan Seacrest was gay prior to dating him, noting, “He totally wasn’t my type … I thought he was gay.” Meanwhile, Seacrest laughed awkwardly, coughed, and then quickly deleted dozens of texts messages from his phone.
Oh boy. Where to even begin with this. You know that one girl in high school? The one who gushes about her amazing boyfriend, and how he wanted to take things really slow because he is super busy “studying” approximately 45 hours a week with the school’s running back? Well, maybe that friend grew up and became a professional dancer and singer who is currently dating Ryan Seacrest. It’s definitely a possibility, right? Anyone who has watched American Idol over the past few years has noticed Seacrest’s bizarrely stilted, oddly homophobic banter with Simon Cowell, leading everyone and their mother to suspect that Seacrest has had more beards than a lumberjack convention. Because as we all know, nothing makes you seem straighter than constantly bringing up gay people all the time.
However, if Seacrest is not trying to cover up his sexuality through sweaty, off-putting repartee, then he apparently is just a creeper. As Hough continues, “He was after me since I was 18”, which, EW. EW. EWWWWWWWWWWW.
– Halle Kiefer