Alcoholics all over the world, unite: Yes We Candwich!
Yes, someone’s finally done it. They’ve gone ahead and put a damn sandwich in a can. And called it a Candwich. This is exactly the kind of thing that looks nasty as hell when you’re sober, but when it’s 4 am and you can’t find your gin-and-tonic helmet and you’re starving, a Candwich is just about the most delicious damn thing you can get your hands on.
I mean, tell me you’ve never woken up the morning after a wild night in bed wearing your party dress and your shoes and found a shopping bag from the drugstore that you have no recollection of visiting and looked inside to find that you decided you wanted water and a can of Chef Boyardee. Just me? Fine then, just me. (By the by, it was delicious, thank you.) But PB & J in a can? I mean I’m shorting my keyboard out with a live barfstream but ask me about it Saturday night when I’m sleeping inside a Stoli bottle on my stoop and see what I say. Spoiler alert: I will say it’s my favorite thing.
My only issue with the Candwich? CHICKEN CANDWICH. WHO ON PLANET EARTH WOULD EAT A CHICKEN SANDWICH IN A CAN?! The sandwich on the can doesn’t even look like chicken, it looks like a hot meatload. Yes. Load.
Ahead, an actual photo of a Candwich. It’s basically a roll and some ketchup packets. Would you eat this?
Holy sh*t, it comes with a Laffy Taffy?? Forget everything I’ve said, this is the greatest product ever created.
[Photos via Splash News Online]