Jersey Shore Reject Angelina To Get Own Show, Delusion of Grandeur

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Jersey Shore cast member of 1.5 seasons, Angelina Pivarnick, may not have made the cut for season 3 of the show, but apparently she is already bragging about shooting a new reality program focused solely on her. According to a report over at Crushable, the cast-off guidette claims that the program is “90%” nailed down (she knows 90% is almost 100%, right?) and sneers that “Jersey Shore won’t be there forever.”

*GASP* You shut your mouth, Angelina, yes, it will! Meanwhile, we are pretty sure we can predict what the plot of her new show is going to be: it’s called City of Angel(ina)s, and at the end of every episode Angelina quits the show in a huff, packs all of her clothes in garbage bags, and puts them in the back of her parents’ station wagon. In between quittings, Angelina will work at a variety of jobs that aren’t that difficult and don’t require a lot of commitment, such as ice cream scooper, flip-flop saleswoman, and buoy. Angelina will quit each job in succession because they require her to start work at the crack of noon, interfering with the 23 hours of sleep per day required to have enough energy to carry around all those garbage bags. Slowly it will be revealed that Angelina has at some point hooked up with everyone else in the show (co-worker at Auntie Anne’s, garbage man, seagull) a charge Angelina will deny until these people become famous from being on the show, upon which Angelina will try to trap them in a garbage bag and put them in the back of her parents’ car. The show will be sponsored by Hefty.

In addition to bragging about her imaginary stardom, Angelina took digs at her former cast mates, saying about Snooki: “She’s another one … she’s also a diva.” Why don’t you just insult Michelle Obama while you’re at it, Angelina? Snooki has more class in one acrylic toe nail than you have in your entirely too orange body. That makes us so mad, we might not watch her new show! Haha, who are we kidding? We’ve somehow already set our DVR for it.