In an effort to extend his career past the somewhat limiting boundaries of GTL, The Situation is purportedly eyeing a spot on the next season of Dancing with the Stars. And, you know, we think it’s a great fit!
The professional dancers on the show are so covered with shiny, rippling muscles, and their clothes so gaudy and bedazzled, DWTS might be the only place The Sitch truly feels at home. It’s also the only show on the planet where he might put his hands up in his make-up chair and say, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Aren’t we going a little overboard with the tanning?” Haha, just kidding, you know he would just use the show as the ultimate excuse to get even tanner and more jacked. By the end of the season he’d probably look like a juiced-up Slim Jim in tuxedo pants. Did we say first season? We meant first episode.
“But what about his moves?”, you are all probably screaming at your computers right now. What a great question! As of now, it seems like The Sitch’s moves might be limited to violently beating up the beat and rhythmically grinding his crotch into everything that isn’t a coat rack; the only mamboing we’ve heard of him doing is of the mattress/hot tub variety. That said, we’d like to imagine that with a little training he could deliver the kind of elegant pelvic gyrations that would make Len Goodman’s tie stand up on end and dance like a snake rising out of a basket. Hmmm, the Snake Charmer…that has a nice ring to it, too.
[Photo: Terry’s Diary]