Today, post-Millennial Rachel Zoe is something of a mystery. She’s a fashion stylist, a Fantasia broomstick perma-swathed in luxurious flowing burkas, who has a real talent for robing some of our most beloved celebrities. She also hasn’t had a glass of water in 11 years.
But consider part of her mystery unveiled today, as her high school senior yearbook photo has been revealed. And — gasp! — she was a fox! And, also, Geena Davis!
Yes, here is Rachel Zoe Rosenzweig as a senior year at Millburn High School in New Jersey. The year? 1989. And her quote?
“I’m ready for the world… but is it ready for me?”
Well… are we?
Also, we hope she recovered from her stroke in print. It’s like slutty Morse code… Whorse code.