Snooki’s Ex Attempts To Win Her Back, It’s As Pathetic As You Would Imagine

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While most of us are still basking in the umber glow of last night’s amazing Jersey Shore episode, we sadly have to acknowledge that not everyone is enjoying the spectacle like they should have. Take Snooki‘s ex-boyfriend Emilio Masella for example, who continues to pine for the sweet kisses of his ex’s weird beige mouth.  Claims Emilio, “I came back to the shore because I still care about Snooki. I need a chance to really tell her how I feel.”

Aw, how sweet is that? So how exactly did Emilio express this deep love and affection for our girl Snickers? Oh, right, by wandering around the boardwalk in a t-shirt that read “Free Hugs” and creeping on random women. Wow, we cannot believe Snooki didn’t just snap this gem up on the spot. He is like the human equivalent of $395 bedazzled sunglasses.  To be fair, the scheme does seem tailor-made to appeal to Snooki; it is both completely incomprehensible and involves lots of hugs.

Unfortunately for Mr. Lonelyhearts Snooki took no notice, and even left the club with a different juiced-up gorilla, after which Emilio went home and sobbed into his product-encrusted pillow. Oh, sorry, we mean: went home and smushed with Random Girl He Hugged #312. And we were like, EMILIO! [Photo: Splash News Online]

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