MAD MEN RECAP: The Good News Is, You Have Cancer.

|

This is a recap for the third episode of Season 4 of Mad Men starring Jon Hamm, Christina Hendricks, John Slattery, January Jones, and a slew of other talented actors, on an episode called “The Good News.” And here if your For Your Consideration Recap:

PROOF THAT HOSPITAL GOWNS ARE UNFLATTERING ON EVERYONE


Sideview of Joan, post Gynie visit.




HOW DON SHOULD HAVE BROKEN THE NEWS…


Gently, and with paint. Seriously, the opportunity was right there. (Thanks to Dan Hopper for this genius photoshop & joke.)




MATTHEW WEINER REALLY DOES GET EVERY DETAIL DOWN, INCLUDING BRITISH TEETH

Alfred E. Flossman, seriously.

JOHNNY TARLUNGS, M.D.

Did he light that thing up to get a better look or what?




HOW I WOULD LIKE TO WAKE UP EVERY DAY


To Draper, in his boxers and undershirt, painting our living room wall. Sure, within a couple of years we’d be living in a 3 by 3 foot box, but lord, would those fumes be sweet.




OUR NEW WALLPAPER


No, really. Click on this image for one that is easily tile-able. His hair still looks great!! Is the devil actually a supergay stylist? Westboro Baptist Church would probably say yes.




PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE SHEET MUSIC FOR “DUN DUN DUN”

Subtle, but dramatic, just like Don.




HOW CAN SOMEONE HAVE SUCH FULL LIPS AND YET SUCH A SMALL MOUTHHOLE?

Scientists, anyone have an explanation?




CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

ABOUT TO GO IN FOR THE KILL…




BUT WAIT. IS SOMETHING WRONG?




OH SH*T Y’ALL! DRAPER JUST GOT:




CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY I KNOW THIS WOMAN?




THIS LETTER WOULD HAVE BEEN EQUALLY OFFENSIVE IT IF WAS WHAT WE ORIGINALLY HEARD, “DARLING, I’VE BEEN ON ASS KISSES LANE.”

Does such a street even exist? Our 22 year old selves hope so.




BEST PROMOTIONAL STILL FROM THE UPCOMING MINISERIES “THE THORNPEENS”




DON’T WORRY: NOT TOO LONG INTO THE FUTURE, SHE ENDS UP BECOMING A VERY FAMOUS SNAPPLE SALESWOMAN


Wendy, is that you?




DICK WHITMAN INDEED


Don Draper’s forehead is giving Julia Roberts’ a run for the money in the “Best Penis Impression” contest




BE HONEST: HOW MANY OF YOU COVERED YOUR EYES?


Look, we’ve all sliced our hands wide open slicing a bagel at one point or another. But still, something as common as a kitchen cut still brought forth the deepest of squirms from within us. And Mad Men isn’t screwing around either… check out how realistic this looks:


We hope Matthew Weiner used James Cameron’s hand, just like in Titanic.




EVEN JOAN KNOWS HE’S A TERRIBLE DOCTOR




SINGLE STILL THAT WILL EARN SOMEONE AN EMMY THIS YEAR


Christina Hendricks




NOW, THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION WE ALL WANT TO KNOW: DOES HOWDY DOODY HAVE A WOODEN DICK?

Elephant Fetish Says Yes.




WHAT PEOPLE USED TO GIVE AND GET HANDJ*BS TO IN THE 1960s


Such an innocent time. Now that Hannah Montana’s through, what will the next generation HJ off to in the cinema?




JUST LIKE KANYE AND JAY-Z!


No homo, here, obviously. One seat is OK, but if they really want to man it up, I suggest opposite aisle seats, and just pelting each other with M&Ms while giggling wildly.




DINNER I WOULD MOST LIKE TO BE A PART OF

New Year’s Day + Don Draper + Lane Pryce + Lil’ Ol’ Me. Here I am, looking cazh.




“I’M GOING TO CALL A LADYFRIEND OF MINE. WANT HER TO BRING A FRIEND?”


Don. I can’t believe you. I’m sitting right here.




WE HOPE HIS “LADYFRIEND” LIKES A1 SAUCE SMOTHERED ON HIS THING

This is somehow the least sanitary thing that took place all episode…




I DON’T KNOW WHO I’M MORE JEALOUS OF: THE CALLGIRLS OR THE COMEDIAN

Making Don Draper laugh vs. Making him weep in ecstasy. Very tough call.




PROOF THAT FACESLAPPING IS A GREAT WORKOUT


Seriously, check out the back on Draper’s pay for sex pal. New York Sports Club should really start offering an kink class for a whole body workout.




MOST DISAPPOINTED PROSTIE


Lane Pryce’s Prostitute. Seriously, her friend gets to sleep with Don while she’s stuck with gap-toothed Lane? We know it’s not his fault that he’s so gap-toothed, but still, click here.




FINALLY, THE $120,000 ANSWER TO THE QUESTION “WHY DID I GO TO BARNARD?”


To hear Don Draper shout out my lady college alma mater, well, I don’t want to be a girl about this, but I’m sobbing and menstruating from every pore in my body. From joy, of course!

What’d you guys think of the episode? Tell us in the comments!

Follow me on Twitter.

Follow BWE on Twitter.

related stories
you might like
Powered By Zergnet