It’s the question we’ve all been wondering since the news broke about flight attendant Steven Slater emergency-sliding his way to notoriety on Monday. Who will play him in the inevitable filmed version of his life? Of course, now that Law And Order is off the air, we doubt his tale will be fodder for that series (although, Slater did go home right away to immediately screw his boyfriend so…SVU?), but we’re secretly hoping this gets turned into a two-hour Lifetime movie. It has all the makings of one – injustice faced by the working man who eventually gets his comeuppance and folk-hero status. And hello, Lifetime is the original Bravo – the unofficially official gay network, it makes total sense. So again we ask, who should play Slater? Well here are our top picks:
1. Michael Kors. The resemblance is uncanny, and we can just hear Kors’ bitchy delivery of the now-famous “To the passenger who called me a motherf–er, f— you!” followed by “By the way, your blouse looks very mother-of-the-bride and the crotch on those pants is insaaane!”
2. Current-day Anthony Michael Hall. Of course everyone remembers AMH from his Brat Pack days as a scrawny nerd, but nowadays, he’s beefy and again, the resemblance to Slater totally works.
3. Peter Ostrum, a.k.a. Charlie Bucket from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Facory, circa 1971. Might we suggest that we go back in time to pick up young Peter Ostrum and bring him to the future so he can portray Slater Ã‚Â in “The Early Years” portion of the Lifetime Movie? Ostrum will employ his thespian skills and bleached eyebrows to reenact the time Slater got fed up on the playground, ran up the metal slide after grabbing a Capri Sun from the lunch line, and cursed out his school-mates before sliding into a sandbox and weeping until him mother came to pick him up.
Our clear winner is Michael Kors (who, in a tie-in with his fashion house will also get a contract to re-design the jetBlue flight attendant uniforms, starting with those neckerchiefs). Gives a whole new meaning to Project Runway, huh?
[Photos: Getty Images/]