James Franco Wants In On Twilight Madness

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Whatcha readin’, James Franco? Twilight, you say? Indeed. Franco was seen reading a copy of Twilight during an interview with Esquire recently and explained that he was doing research for an upcoming project. While that could mean anything (because he’s James Franco and his “projects” range from grad school to General Hospital to Eat, Pray, Love), we’re thrilled to imagine him considering a role in Breaking Dawn. The question is, which role? Come, brainstorm with us.

1. J. Jenks. In our opinion, the middle-aged lawyer whose purpose it is to help Bella forge Jacob and Renesmeé’s paperwork (if you haven’t read the book, don’t ask) would be amazing for Franco. This role would require Franco to employ every bit of weirdness he has. Plus, we’d love to see Franco do for Breaking Dawn what Tom Cruise did for Tropic Thunder, with the bald cap and the pervy glasses and the a slightly creepy, mysterious air about him.

2. Garrett, Kate’s mate in the Denali vampire clan. Pushing Daisies star Lee Pace is reportedly also being considered for the role of the harmless vamp who happens to be Edward’s good friend. To us, we’d enjoy nothing more than some Franco/Pattinson screen time where they tousle each other’s hair and powder each other’s pale skin– sorry, wait, that’s not part of Breaking Dawn, that’s some fan fiction we wrote. Never mind.

3. Nahuel, the peaceful 150-year-old half-human, half-vampire. Because nothing says “cameo” like arriving in the final five minutes of the film to save everyone’s life.

4. Renesmeé. Hey, they developed the baby-face-transplanting technology for the Wayans Brother’s Little Man, we see no reason why they couldn’t further it by turning Franco into a tiny vamp who is also a girl, who also rapidly ages at ten times the rate of a normal baby. We’d pay good money to see “Featuring James Franco as Nessie” on the screen.