Congratulations are in order to Laguna Beach theme song singer Hilary Duff and her brand-new husband, potato-head hockey player Mike Comrie. You did it, guys! You spent an assload of your hard-earned money on an obscenely extravagant wedding in Santa Barbara, flaunting your commitment to each other in front of 100 guests. Now the whole world knows how “stunning” you both are, and how skilled you are at hiring a wedding planner who nails down “every last detail.”
But seriously, Hilz, you’ve just totally Avril Lavigned yourself. She married (in 2006) at 21 and wore Vera Wang too, and 3 years later she was divorcing hubby Deryk Whibley to dry hump Brody Jenner while getting matching tattoos.
Oh, but that’s just crazy ol’ Avril being all Avril-y, you say! Think again: Jessica Simpson wed Nick Lachey at the age of 22 – in Vera effing Wang, again! – and come Thanksgiving 2005, she was ripping off her wedding rings and running into B.O.-laced arms of Bam Margera. And if Jessica and Avril’s cautionary tales don’t make your veneers chatter, how about the short-lived marriage mess-ups of Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Drew Barrymore, Pam Anderson, Nicky Hilton and Renee Zelwegger?
You’ve chosen a dangerous path, Hilary. Vera Wang dresses and marrying super young are a dangerous combination, one that will probably end with you ditching your new hubby in 2.5 years, selling your story to In Touch Weekly and grinding Jesse James on top of your wedding album.
But anyway, Mazel Tov! At least you got the world’s tackiest ring out of it!