Oh, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro. What would the Jersey Shore be like without you doin’ you? He ain’t no Situation, and he definitely ain’t no Snooki or J-Woww, even if his musculature is as impressive as Miss Jenni’s. But he did give the world his legacy: that supreme party elixir, Ron-Ron juice.
Now, too many hits of Ron-ron juice can be dangerous, maybe even for it’s bare-chested creator. Perhaps it’s so potent that it causes temporary amnesia, or even trippy delusional phases. ‘Cause why else would beefcake Ronnie forget the very existence of all those parking tickets he didn’t pay for? Maybe he thought they were bits of confetti? Or that the Jersey Shore is a Hail Mary-pass because the fist pump trumps pesky fines?
Well, here’s a nice bite on the ass from reality for the reality star. Ronnie was arrested for his unpaid tickets and was hauled to the precinct by two officers who didn’t probably didn’t care much for any attempts of “Do you know who I am?” Ronnie was a free (but probably very embarrassed) bird a while later “after satisfying the conditions of the warrants.” Thank God, because the Ron-Ron juice MUST not be compromised. *Fist pump*
[Photo: Splash News Online]