Marilyn Manson And Evan Rachel Wood Call It Quits; The Rest Of Us Should Just Give Up Now

by Halle Kiefer (@hallekiefer)

evan-marilyn

Tear up those sonnets you wrote and cancel Valentine’s Day, you guys. Its official: love is dead. After four tumultuous, guy-liner smeared years of romance, Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood are finally throwing in the filth towel.

Sources report that the couple separated last week, ending their eight-month engagement.  Oh lord, we’re sorry if there are too many spelling errors in this post, but we can barely see through the tears! After Manson was spotted drowning his sorrows with several lovely ladies at L.A.’s Boudoir, a friend confirmed the split, saying, “They just broke off their engagement, and he needed a night out with friends.” We don’t blame him! We might need a night off with our many beautiful lady friends to recover from this shocking blow too.

The two lovebirds met at a party in 2006, when Wood was so young our hands are refuse to type her age, and have been on-again, off-again ever since. People familiar with Wood and Manson’s relationship know that the two have broken up and gotten back together so many times, it’s starting to remind us of our high school boyfriend. Which makes sense, considering Manson basically was Wood’s high school boyfriend.  But this! We didn’t get an inkling that these two kooks wouldn’t make it/destroy each other in a big public blow-out. Now we’ll never have the fairy-tale wedding we were hoping for (The fairy-tale being Bluebeard)! We just hope Evan keeps in mind that not everyone gets the washed-up middle-aged vampire boyfriend of their dreams.

Now if you’ll excuse us, there is a Drop Dead Diva marathon we need to watch, and a black satin pillow that needs to be sobbed into.  [Photo: Splash News Online]