Pardon the drool all over this post, but any news we can get about Lady Gaga’s next album makes us swoon face-first onto the keyboard. According to Gaga’s producer, the next generation of Lady G isn’t going to be just great; it’s going to blow our mind socks off. “It’s going to be shocking, shocking, shocking,” raves producer RedOne about the upcoming album.
We love that the one thing Gaga’s producer is excited about is how scandalized we’ll all be by it. Not that it’s good. Not that it’s well-made. Just that it’s going to leave us sitting in front of the stereo with our mouths open and eyebrows burned off. These two sound like a match made in cigarette-goggle heaven.
Continues RedOne, “We still want to give them something with a kick, something that makes them say, ‘Oh my God! We didn’t expect this!’” Squee! But given the eye-brow raisers Gaga has delivered unto us in the past, what could she do next that we wouldn’t expect? A woman who has already bled from her stomach at the VMAs, greeted the Queen in a latex dress and donned an exposed monster spinal cord really needs to work in order to up the ante. So just in case these two are on the lookout for fresh ideas, we have a few suggestions for how Gaga can take it to the next insane level:
- Coinciding with the album’s release, Gaga pulls a 180 and refuses to wear anything but body-concealing bottoms: mom jeans, peasant skirts, huge billowing harem pants that conceal a grand piano and JNCOs.
- Gaga cheats on Kermit with every member of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. At the same time.
- Has anyone done anything with Sasquatch yet? Okay, so, music video with Sasquatch. No, sorry, we meant sex tape with Sasquatch.
- Gaga dyes her platinum hair back to brown. Actually, no, scratch that. We don’t think we could handle a change that huge.