In the latest example of Hollywood’s total disassociation from reality, Kristen Bell has just been cast as the young mom of a precocious ballet dancer…who happens to be twelve years old. The 30-year-old Veronica Mars star will reportedly appear in the upcoming black comedy Dance of the Mirlitons as a ruthless stage mom. Meanwhile sources say filmmakers are currently in the midst of a “nationwide casting search for a young actress to play a precocious 10 to 12 year old.” So, Bell’s daughter would be at least a third of her age. What is this, a Lifetime movie?
Gushes producer Daniel Dubiecki, “Kristen’s combination of comedic timing and authenticity will bring this character to the next level, and give this crossover appeal.” We couldn’t agree more with that; this role sounds like one Bell can actually sink her teeth into (No offense, When In Rome). What we can’t really picture, however, is how they’re going to explain the fact Bell must have given birth in A.P. chemistry class to have a kid that age.
Now, we’re all used to actresses barely over 35 playing Mother to teenage children (Amy Poehler‘s fun mom in Mean Girls, anyone?), but it still icks us out to see one so young we practically need file a police report for even thinking about when her kid was conceived. Besides, even if we forget about Kristen’s age, there is still her cherubic face, which makes her look much younger than many actresses her age. You cast Lindsay Lohan as the grandpa in “Little Miss Sunshine,” no one would have batted an eye. But Kristen Bell as mama to a tween? She barely looks old enough to drive! We’re already looking forward to Dance of the Mirlitons 2, featuring Miley Cyrus as the proud, self-sufficient single mother of Dakota Fanning. Wait…if we closed our eyes and only listened to them talking, that might actually work…. [Photo: Getty Images]
