Nutritionist Elizabeth Hurley Says Adults Don’t Need Breakfast, Just Mugs Of Boiling Water

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Doctor of science and hot lady actress Elizabeth Hurley has joined the ranks of celebrities who have decided being good-looking and rich also means you have a PhD from Johns Hopkins. Tweets Hurley, “Doctors disagree, but I swear by almost nothing for breakfast for adults.”  You know any sentence that starts with “doctors disagree, but…” is certain to be jammed packed with healthy, reasonable suggestions. We’re not doctors either, but we doubt turning 18 means you need to put away the oatmeal and start manning up until lunch. If anything, this is just going to encourage us to sleep past noon. And believe us, we do not need the encouragement!

Continued Hurley, “Mugs of hot water first thing, maybe an espresso and a few oat cakes mid morning.” Nothing like a boiling cup of plain water to really get you ready for the day. Is there a chance this is a British thing? Wouldn’t that explain everything about the British if this were a British thing? Hurley also suggested that instead of lunch, adults can bring a thermos full of ice cubes to the office, and for a hearty dinner, just stand over a subway grate and inhale the steam until you are so full you pass out.

To be fair, Hurley is 45 and looks younger than most of us do coming out of the womb. Maybe scalding hot water breakfasts are really the answer to eternal youth. We’ll have to try it, right after we figure out whether “oat cakes” is British slang for “Belgian waffles”. Dear god, please let it mean Belgian waffles.

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